C’mon On Down, You Are The Next Contestant In Your Own Conversation. by Art Byrd

Here at Toastmasters, we work to speak in front of a group. But what happens, when we speak to someone one-on-one to have a conversation.

It seems we have a limited time to be interesting to that person or before someone interrupts the conversation, we are having.

Fellow Toastmasters and honored guests.

Sometimes having conversation with someone is like being on a contestant on a game show with the clock ticking.

Most of you talk with people during your daily encounters. In fact, you probably talked to someone during the break.

Did you have a good conversation or quick conversation because the Toastmaster clock was ticking T minus 5 min.

Conversations are considered two-way streets. It's give-and-take.

Most of conversational errors are committed not by those who talk too little by those who talk too much.

Actress Audrey Hepburn said her mother told her “I” in the conversation is boring.

Some people stay in conversations too long especially at parties or social events. Some try to turn the person into their new best friend. They continue to talk and bored the person.

I have a friend, some of you may have know of her. Her name is Susan Deleo, she used to work with me at Channel 21, the TV station. Susan is an excellent conversationalist. Because, she actually listens to you. She looks you in the eyes. Susan smiles and nods, then waits for pauses and then says something. She doesn't give a advice or a solution.

In fact, a conversation with Susan doesn't last that long because she allows you to make your point.

In the article, the Art of Conversation it states the virtues of a good conversationalist.
–Really listening
–looking at the person, paying attention
–not giving advice.

Oh one more thing, don't interrupt.

Definition of “interruption” is causes a disruption in a conversation or discussion, considered rude.

An interruption is my fear when I'm talking to someone in a social setting, a party, even here at Toastmasters.

There is one type of interruption than I have experienced it is called the” swoop.” This is when I'm talking to someone, I see and feel another person (a man) wanted to talk to the same person I'm talking to, who usually a woman.

The person will almost rock like of this. Then they will charge over and just start talking to the person and mentally moving me to the side. They have swooped me.

Their confidence level is high because they have done it before and no one has said anything. They just let them talk. No one says they are being rude.

One time, I was talking to a woman I just met. I was enjoying talking to her it seems like she was enjoying talking to me. I felt my “spidey” sense tingling alerting me that someone is about to pounce and then in a spilt moment the person has swooped into our conversation. The person started taking over the conversation. Then, the woman said softly” excuse me, I was talking to Art and I would like to continue our conversation.”

The person was surprised and even shock that someone actually called him out on his rudeness. He slowly backed out and slithered away. That woman is forever imprinted in my heart. What a nice thing to do.

On Sunday, I experienced a swoop with my dad. After church, my dad and I were talking in the parking lot. I hadn't seen my dad in a week or so. So we were catching up. A man walked by and we said hello and he walked on. A few moments later, he came back and walked up to us. He swooped into our conversation and starting a new topic about his mother. I'll tell you how this turned out a little later.

There is one type of conversation interrupting I would like to discuss.

It's one that happens with in a conversation between two people. The person I am talking with tries to finish my sentence.

 Here to let me give you example: I will say  “I was in the grocery store in the fruit section to get some.. The person will to get carrots. I will say not carrots but oranges. I will say something else and he will again try to finish my sentence.

Our conversation takes three times longer and I get confused about what I am talking about up. Later on the person will have no idea what I said because they were not listening.It's like playing Jeopardy. Answer the question. If you do that to people you're talking to. Don't do it. It's annoying

As for the man who swooped me and my dad I let him talk for a moment. I could see my dad getting impatient and didn't want him to leave. I wanted to talk some more. So, I said politely said to the man. “It is not raining as it was before. I have a chance to talk with my dad who haven't seen in a week or so. I would really like to talk with him at this moment.” The man understood and said goodbye.

From that moment on, I refuse to be swooped on. I will speak up because I love having conversations with people. There two people here at Toastmasters I've had lunches and dinners with and I can recall what we talked about. We have had great conversations.

Esquire magazine says to be “an interesting person you have to be interested.”

That means not interrupting but listening, truly listening and paying attention.

Making a person feel better for having talk to you.That is the mark of a great conversation.

If you follow these guidelines for your conversations. Just maybe, you might not get that feeling that the clock is ticking like on a game show.    Mr. Toastmaster.


Delivered May 23, 2011 at the Toastmasters 408, Youngstown, Ohio

Thor Provides Strength, Stamina for Superhero Movie Marathon This Summer By Art Byrd

The Green Hornet kicked off the 2011 superhero movie marathon. There will be lots of superhero films this year, such as the Green Lantern, Captain America and Thor. Thor is setting a good pace for the marathon.

Thor is fairly well known to comic book geeks like me, but to the rest of the world he is part of the Avengers, a team of Marvel superheroes that includes Iron Man.

The “comic book hero movie” is the hardest genre next to comedy to do well.

Thor has the strength to win over audiences. Director Kenneth Branaugh, an actor with several director credits under his belt, starts the movie in present day. As scientist Jane Foster (played by Natalie Portman) and she and her team, Dr. Selvig (Stellan Skargard: King Arthur, Ronin) and Darcy (Kat Denning: Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist), are researching in the desert by night, they come across a strange flash. In their van, they race to find out what it was and literally run into Thor, who is knocked on his back.

Thor is played by Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek).  In the comic book, Thor has a mythical look of a god with a handsome chiseled face and muscles. Hemsworth is perfectly cast as that. And of course, as Jane tries to find out who Thor is, there is an immediate attraction between the two.

In a flashback scene, we are told how Thor was sent Earth. Thor is heir to the throne of Asgard. His father is Odin, played by the one-and-only Anthony Hopkins.  Odin has maintained peace with the Frost Giants, who were major losers in a large scale war with Asgard, through diplomacy and by keeping a large bluestone that is important to the Frost Giants. Thor is arrogant and believes fighting is the way to win respect.

During a ceremony, the Frost Giants try to steal the bluestone back, but Odin’s security contains the situation. Thor deems robbery attempt a sign of disrespect and wants to visit the Frost Giants’ on their turf to confront them. Odin forbids Thor from retaliating. But…

Thor, his band of fighting friends and brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), set off for the Frost Giants’ area. Things don’t go well there, but Thor and his band are rescued by Odin. An outraged Odin banishes Thor to Earth and strips his powers.

On earth, Thor learns compassion through Jane and discovers things about the planet. We learn that Loki is Thor’s half-brother – his other half is Frost Giant. It seems weird but provides a different villain twist that is handled well.

The special effects were above good, but not great, and contribute to the storyline. The storyline explains a lot without being confusing.

I like cameos with characters from other movies; Thor has S.H.I.E.L.D agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) from Iron Man investigating Thor and his arrival on earth.

The cast with Hemsworth, Portman and Hopkins is amazing. There are comedic and heroic moments that make Thor stand out. Thor has some great moments involving his hammer.

I am not sure what Thor looks like in 3-D. I saw it in 2-D, and still Thor was bigger than life. But waiting to see it on the small screen will not do.
Edited by Michele Ristich Gatts

Bridesmaids Has Bridesmaids Has So Many Laughs You Won’t Make It Down The Aisle By Art Byrd

I didn't expect myself to go see Bridesmaids. Only one person could get me into a theater seat to see the movie, Kristen Wiig. She has always been amazing and funny on SNL, or Saturday Night Live.

Wiig has appeared in smaller roles in Knocked Up and Date Night. She is just funny in this movie. She brings a great ensemble cast, starting with real-life best friend and former SNL cast member, Maya Rudolph.

Wiig plays Annie, who is a rock bottom point in her life: She has a low paying job and is in a bad “no strings attached” relationship with Ted, played by Jon Hamm (Mad Men). Then, Lillian (Rudolph) announces she’s getting married and asks Annie to be her maid of honor. Even though Annie is broke and down on love, she makes an effort at the maid of honor duties, which become hilarious and strange.

Bridesmaids is hard to describe. On one hand, it could be considered a female version of The Hangover, and on the other hand, it could be compared to 1984's Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks. There is a lot of tasteless humor in the movie (hint, hint: food poisoning!).

Is it a “chick flick”? I say no. I did see lots of guys being led to theater seats by their ladies. Yet I heard the loudest laughter coming from the guys. Yep. Including me.

The movie was written by Wiig and her writing partner, Annie Mumolo, who was in the movie as a nervous passenger sitting next to Wiig on the plane. The movie's producer is Judd Apatow, known for Knocked Up, Super Bad and The 40-year-old Virgin.

One of the funniest moments in the movie is at Lillian’s engagement party. Annie is given the microphone to toast Lillian and her fiancé and offers something sweet and simple. Then she hands the mike over to Helen, played by Rose Byrne (Damages, Get him to the Greek), who has become really good friends with Lillian. 

Helen begins by saying how she and Lillian are best friends. Annie's face is priceless when she hears this. After Ellen finishes, Annie takes the microphone back to say something about her friendship with Lillian. Then Helen grabs the mike again. The scene becomes dueling toasts between them.

This sets up a bridal tug-of-war between Annie and Helen. Annie plans a simple trip to the country, but Helen gets the bridesmaids to agree on a trip to Las Vegas. On the plane to Vegas, Wiig shows her amazing comedic skills as she becomes high on pills -- given to her by Helen -- for flight anxiety. The results are too funny.

Later Annie is pulled over by Rhodes, a State Trooper, played by Chris O’ Dowd.  He is charming and treats Annie nice, something she is not used to, so she starts to mess things up with him.

The other bridesmaids present different kinds of funny, which turns into a great mix. Rita, played by Wendi McLendon-Covey (Reno 911), is a stay-at-home mom who's looking to let her wild side come out; Becca, played by Ellie Kemper (The Office), is a newlywed and very naïve; The funniest one of them all is Megan, played by Melissa McCarthy (Mike and Molly), who doesn't mind being full-size and uses it to her advantage -- especially with a U.S. Air Marshall.

I like Annie's mother, played by the late Jill Clayburgh in one of her last roles. She was warm and supportive of Annie.

If you are a fan of the singing group Wilson Phillips, get ready for a great sing-a-long with their hit Hold On.

Bridesmaids is just a fun movie with sight gags, witty dialogue, touching friend moments and romance. After seeing the movie, you may not want to get married right away, but if you do plan to, at least invite Kristen Wiig.  

Edited by Michele Ristich Gatts